Welcome to SameTeamNation!! My mission is to provide an inspirational, positive, supportive community where parents, parenting apart, commit to positioning our children’s wellbeing above our own ego or agenda. Working together with respect, kindness and a united vision will see you achieve that and give you an enormous sense of pride.
Our SameTeamNation flag depicts the footprint of our “cub/s” in the middle with torches on either side. The torches are to help light their way, if we blow out or extinguish the other light, they only have half the light in order to move forward in. If one side is gone, it exposes our child’s border and leaves them vulnerable to attack. I implore you to keep both lights bright, keep their borders safe and you will all reap the rewards.
Aren’t you tired of the conflict? Do you feel physically stressed or anxious during interactions with your child’s other parent? Are you constantly “point scoring?” Are your friends and family tired of hearing about your ex’s long list of faults, over and over and over again? You may say no to that last question, but ask them to their face and their response may tell you otherwise.
Your hurt, I understand and that’s ok. How long do you want to hurt for? How long do you want your ex to hurt for? When does it stop, when you’re kids have left home? Get married? Have children? What about grandchildren? The reality is, the only person you hurt is you, I want to show you how to heal. Trouble is, we’re almost expected to behave in a negative way when we separate.
AHH HAHH moment– That is because our brain wants to find evidence to support our beliefs. We are literally programming our brains, search for faults…your brain goes right, how about the time they were late to pick up the kids, or forgot to put sunscreen on, or…..see, faults. If we’re focusing on the negatives, then the negatives we will find!! People are genuinely surprised when you say you have an amicable interaction with your child’s other parent. I’m here to show you, there is another way. Your community and I will support you through it and keep you focused on achieving a respectful, fair and workable balance for you, for your child, his/her mum/dad and for all of your health and wellbeing. You all deserve it. It’s a win, win, win.
I can relate. My parents were unhappy and finally divorced. My then-husband, had two children. So I was a step-parent, I’ve been on the receiving end of the parental tug-of-war, sabotage, and manipulation. I’ve been in both camps. When we separated, we made a pledge that I would respect our son’s father’s role (and he mine) in his life, and welcome any other people that came into their lives. I have had to work hard to turn up in this way, there are times I didn’t if I’m honest, but through using my tools and techniques; practice and foresight, I persevered. I am not perfect and I don’t expect perfection from him. The expectation that separated parents are in a chronic state of war over their children, that ends with me.
I have sat in the class of ‘How Not To’ and I’ve taught myself ‘How To’ ~Viki Mckenzie
My vision is to create a worldwide support network for people parenting apart and foster every opportunity for our children to show up as incredible, confident and well-supported adults as a result of both parents playing an active, unique and valuable part in their lives. If for whatever reason, your child’s other parent isn’t interested in being part of their lives or there is abuse, finding a significant, same-sex, role model is extremely valuable to help in raising them.
I have created an exclusive “SameTeamNation” Closed Facebook community. It is a community of support, where we come together with wins, fun, and solutions, not animosity and negativity. The cost is a one off payment of $49NZ. (+$4.50 monthly fee, that’s just a cup of coffee! opt out any time) The value is you get a weekly blog, with tips from me, a monthly opportunity to win a free 1-1 coaching session, discounted coaching rates, and the support and company of your fellow “countrymen and women.” It is also to enable me to share this vision and our Nation with the world. Depression, isolation, and suicide are escalating at an alarming rate, support and love from both parents is the first line of defense in protecting our children and EACH OTHER as we are more exposed to these ailments when navigating through separation/divorce.
To join SameTeamNation, Head along to the Paypal tab, Pay $49 (I will email you an invitation to STN, along with details to set up the $4.50 monthly fee, opt out any time) Please write a short pledge back, of what your parenting apart goals are and how you promise to turn up for the next year. That will only be shared with me. We all have challenging relationships in our lives, be it family or colleagues that we need to find a way to manage professionally. Look for the positives and the positives you will find. I can’t wait to welcome you, amazing changes ahead.
With respect and kindness, Viki
“To forgive, is to set a prisoner free…and discover, that prisoner was you”- Lewis B Smedes
Your home, your community, your virtual nation. SameTeamNation.